When I realized my decision to be away from home is definitely on track as I have seen this big Welcome sign at the Airport. I came, travelled alone , not that sure of tomorrow sadly being one with my one of the greatest decision ever, to work in the other part of the country I'm livin' in and that means a new beggining.
New beggining , new ends. It sucks. You'll have some You'll lose some. Something, someone etc you may think of. Am I too harsh leaving some of the most inportant people in my life and meeting strangers of mu future? Am I too selfish for this? I'm not gonna deny myself but I think I'm sometimes drowning in my own conscience. Yet in the first place all I can think of is my family not my friends. Fudge I do really miss 'em both. But the word "family" itself left behind is heart breaking, heart shattering to accept.
Cebu being my childhood vacation spot turned out to be someplace I missed and the place I started my new life with. :) and there's nothing to be guilty about it.
The teary feeling of knowing that my grandfather is sick and I wanna be the one to take care of my grand parents is killing me my dear. Am I only the one feeling this? Fighting over with this kind of matter? I don't think so.
Sometimes I really do feel I'm awful in a good way. I'm not thinking only of myself but "kaulion na heart ko ante sa amu a" :'@ I wanna cry with this statement spoken out. But my heart and soul felt stucked all of a sudden and I really dunno why. This is all part of my effin' decision so be it. I just keep tellin' myself that this shit is a killer yet I'm not gonna die with it and because of it. This is too immature like doing.
One word that keeps me gettin' over this feeling of awfulness is the word "workmates". I really don't have a clue at first how versatile life and people our world could have. I mean in the first place I don't have any idea of having a bond with my workmates, in terms of getting together, laughing hard, smiling everytime we do clumsy things, even when chillin' out. :)
We don't need to please everybody. Fact. Legit.
Think about it. We're not born to. ei.
We just need to please ourselves. We do. Satisfying ourselves through hardwork and good deeds to our family and friends and even w/ strangers greatly give us that fucking good feeling of being appreciated and be thanked for it. This blogpost greatly entails what I've been upto now, who I'm with, what common things we do and giving us the feeling of being alive amidst of our busu scheds. These are my newly found friends errbody:
Complete variety of weirdness! Packed with both circle of happiness and sadness. These set of people in my life I thought I could never be one with , be close with , they made great place in my heart and no matter what happens I'll never gonna forget each one of them. :)
Making each day a fruitful one is a blessing from God above. -Victoria
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